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?本集內容
THE CAUSE OF FEAR: ATTACHMENT.
THE CURE FOR FEAR: DETACHMENT(p.55)
“Though we are developing intimacy with our fear, we want to see it as its own entity, separate from us.”
“When we talk about our emotions, we usually say we are that emotion. ”
“I am angry.”
“I am sad.”
“I am afraid.”
“Talking to our fear separates it from us and helps us understand that the fear is not us, it is just something we’re experiencing.”
“When you meet someone who gives off a negative vibe, you feel it, but you don’t think that vibe is you.”
“It’s the same thing with our emotions - they are something we’re feeling, but they are not us.”
“Try shifting from I am angry to I feel angry.”
“I feel sad.”
“I feel afraid.”
“A simple change, but a profound one because it puts our emotions in their rightful place.”
“Having this perspective calms down our initial reactions and give us the space to examine our fear and the situation around it without judgement.”
***examine 音檔裡沒有正確發音examine後面的 “mine” /min/
“When we track our fears back to their source, most of us find that they’re closely related to attachment - our need to own and control things.”
“We hold on to ideas we have about ourselves, to the material possessions and standard of living that we think define us, to the relationships we want to be one thing even if they are clearly another.”
“Clinging to temporary things gives them power over us, and they become sources of pain and fear.”
“But when we accept the temporary nature of everything in our lives, we can feel gratitude for the good fortune of getting to borrow them for a time.”
“Even the most permanent of possessions, belonging to the most wealthy and powerful, don’t actually belong to them.”
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“Our teacher made a distinction between useful and hurtful fears.”
“They told us that a useful fear alerts us to a situation we can change.”
p.56
“There’s a common misconception about detachment that I’d like to address.”
“People often equate detachment with indifference.”
“Detachment is the ultimate practice in minimizing fear.”
“Once I identified my anxiety about disappointing my parents, I was able to detach from it.”
“I realized I had to take responsibility for my life.”
“My parents might be upset, they might not- I had no control over that.”
“I could only make decisions based on my own values.”
Practice- Audit your attachments
Ask yourself:”What am I afraid of losing?”
Start with the externals: Is it your car, your house, your looks?
Write down everything you think of.
Now think about the internals: your reputation, your status, your sense of belonging?
Now start thinking about changing your mental relationship with those things so that you are less attached to them.
This is a lifelong practice, but as you become more and more accepting of the fact that we don’t truly own or control anything, you’ll find yourself actually enjoying and valuing people, things, and experiences more, and being more thoughtful about which one’s you choose to include in your life.
Think Like A Monk(Jay Shetty)